Home Television ‘The Bachelor’ Episode 4 Recap: 50 Shades of Hay

‘The Bachelor’ Episode 4 Recap: 50 Shades of Hay

by Kristeena

Welcome fellow Bachelor lovers…we start right where we left off, with Vanessa giving Nick the business. She may just be too classy for this show but since she is my final pick I need her to stay! Nick tells her to “be more patient about Corinne” which means “she isn’t going anywhere until I get to sleep with her” but it seems to be good enough for Vanessa as she keeps her rose. Meanwhile the other girls are confronting Corinne about how they feel disrespected by her and in true Corinne fashion she responds with “I’m not privileged in any way, shape, or form.” I am not even going to touch that one, too easy.

Rose ceremony time! Vanessa, Danielle L & Rachel already have roses. Nick gives out roses to Raven, Taylor, Whitney, Kristina, Jasmine, Alexis, Astrid, Danielle M, Jaimi, Josephine, Sarah, & Corinne. That means Christen & Brittney are sent home. I love the shade Christen threw his way.

Yassss girl!

Next day Chris Harrison comes over to let the ladies know that it is time to leave the mansion for…..Milwaukee!!! Well, at least the destinations can only go up from here. After arriving the ladies walk around the city acting like it is the best place they have ever been. Fun fact: did you know that you aren’t suppose to feed ducks bread? Yes these are the things I notice when I watch this show. While they are exploring Nick is meeting up with his parents to talk about his adventure thus far. His dad’s main concern is that he doesn’t have to do this show for the 4th time, I am thinking 3 strikes and you are out in the Bachelor world. Nick’s mom cries, he cries, and his dad just looks bored.

1st one-on-one: Danielle L

This date is pretty uneventful and has an underlying awkwardness to it. My husband won’t be too happy to hear about that since Danielle is his pick to win. They walk around his hometown for a bit and then stop into a bakery that conveniently makes “Nick” cookies to make their very own treats. From there they continue their walk and then BAM run into one of Nick’s ex-girlfriends. Cue more awkwardness. This is definitely one of the dumber set ups this show has produced. Would you go on The Bachelor to “run into” your ex? Better question how much would it cost for you to go on The Bachelor to “run into” your ex? This date is just keeps getting worse. Next they head to the park where Nick proceeds to talk about how this is the place he lost his virginity. Can this date just end already?? No such luck, next is cocktails and yet another serenade; this time by Chris Lang. Dancing awkwardly must be Nick & Danielle’s “thing” this season. She does get the rose but I don’t see her being around for much longer. Sorry hubby!

Group Date: Moo Bitch Get Out the Hay
Rachel, Alexis, Vanessa, Jasmine, Jaimi, Sarah, Whitney, Kristina, Astrid, Taylor, Josephine, & Corinne

Time to be farm hands for the day. I just love how they make these women get decked out in clothes to then have them working on a farm. At least give them the chance to dress appropriately. You can totally make jeans and flannel cute! Before it even starts I can hear Corinne complaining about having to actually work. Good for all the other girls who embraced the date…have fun with it! First they feed the cows and then Nick tries to milk Comet….cue the comments about not being able to handle teats. How did I know it would come from Jaimi? Last for the date is shoveling manure and this is when Corinne decides she has had enough and goes to pout alone but not before this:

After cleaning up they head to their date cocktail party. All I have to say is Nick+Vanessa=FIRE. The girls spend their group time complaining about about Corinne, of course she overhears this and confronts them. First out the gate is Sarah asking Corinne if she really thinks she is “ready to marry a 36 year old man?” They then bring up the bounce house and the constant napping to which Corinne responds, “Michael Jordan took naps. Abraham Lincoln took naps.” I am not sure how that is a valid argument but I have stopped trying to understand Corinne. She then goes to Nick and tells him how all the ladies were attacking her but she handled it with class and then gives her a pat on the back for being so mature…..and then she does this:Yes I would actually call that immature but who am I? I am really starting to think she is a paid actress, at least for her sake I hope she is. Rose goes to….Kristina.

2nd one-on-one: Raven

Yet another hometown tour but this one goes much better than the last one. First stop is Nick’s little sister Bella’s soccer game where Raven gets to meet the parents. It was a tad uncomfortable but they made enough small talk to get through it. Next up was roller skating with Bella and her team. It was a cute date and Raven got brownie points with Bella so I am pretty sure at this point she has the rose. After QT family time they head to the Milwaukee Art Museum where sweet little Raven proceeds to tell Nick about the time she caught her boyfriend cheating. That sweet little Raven went all crazy pants when she walked into the room and saw her boyfriend “thrusting” another woman. She then proceeded to beat him with the girl’s stiletto. I have to say I was pretty entertained with this story but I did worry for Nick a little bit. Hope he stays on Raven’s good side! Although I can’t say I wouldn’t beat my man with a stiletto if I was in that situation so final conclusion: You go girl! Her and Nick seem to have a nice connection, doesn’t seem too passionate but that could change. She gets the rose but that could be in part because Nick was a little scared of getting beat in the head with her shoe.

Cocktail Party Time aka Taylor/Corinne Show Down

At the start of the cocktail party Corinne pulls Taylor outside to call her out. Corinne wants to know what Taylor’s problem is with her and they just go back and forth about emotional intelligence, being stuck up, & running a multi-million dollar company (yeah ok Corinne you totally run your daddy’s company.) Corinne and Taylor are both very young but to me Taylor tried to talk calmly like an adult while Corinne just whined and complained like a child. Shocker.

And that folks is where this episode ends. Next week Nick takes Corinne & Taylor on a two-on-one (convenient)…who do you think stays and who goes?

You can watch The Bachelor Monday nights at 8 pm on ABC.

 

 

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1 comment

Kemble January 31, 2017 - 6:25 pm

Literally laughed out loud multiple times. I have not seen this episode yet but I feel like you fully covered it yet at the same time I really want to watch it. Thank you for the laughs. Much needed today!

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