Last week’s episode ended with a cliffhanger with Nick saying goodbye to Liz (thank goodness – I don’t think I could listen to her talk about her past hookup with Nick for the millionth time) and going to tell the rest of the women that he and Liz had slept together 9 months ago. Of course it ended there for dramatic effect but all I could think was “is this really a big deal?” If any of these ladies came on this show thinking Nick wasn’t a little bit of a playboy then she lives under a rock. Surprisingly, the ladies take it pretty well and it is time to start the cocktail party. I am sure there were some great conversations that happened but all I remember is Corinne+trench coat+whip cream+cringing. I said it last night on Facebook and I will say it again; he needs to just have sex with her and then send her on her merry way. Clearly that is all she is there for. I told my husband that I hope the producers are forcing him to keep her because otherwise what I think of him has dropped down quite a few pegs. I mean come on:
After that lovely bonding moment, Nick grabs Jasmine as she walks by which sends Corinne off in tears because “that conversation was so bad for our relationship.”….ummmm what conversation???
Rose ceremony time!! Wait, where is Corinne? I think this is the first time I have ever seen a girl skip the rose ceremony. She already has a rose but it is just a rule that you still have to attend the ceremony. If that doesn’t show what a spoiled brat she is then I don’t know what it will take for Nick to see her true ways….hold on yes I do…it will be when the producer says “ok, you can send her home now.”
Christen, Corinne, & Danielle M are all already safe. Nick hands out roses to Astrid, Danielle L, Taylor, Rachel, Whitney, Vanessa, Kristina, Raven, Jaimi, Dominique, Sarah, Brittany, Alexis, Josephine, & Jasmine. That means Lacey, Hailey, & Elizabeth are sent home.
Group Date #1: Backstreet’s Back?
Danielle L, Kristen, Kristina, Taylor, Jasmine, Corinne, & Whitney
This date seems perfect for me….the high school me. Actually who am I kidding, I would love that now. Most of the girls look pretty good doing the choreography and then there was Corinne. Poor girl should stick to just showing her boobs every time she is with Nick. Dancing is not her friend. Jasmine, who in case you didn’t hear it the first 20 times, is a former cheerleader and boy was she trying to remind us of that during this entire date! After some rehearsal it is time to get up on stage and let everyone decide who is the best and gets the one on one time with Nick. And the winner is……DANIELLE (at this point my husband goes “YESSSSS”…she is his pick to win.) Now all the ladies get to stand in the wings and watch as Nick & Danielle get an awkward serenade by the Backstreet Boys.
Time for the date cocktail time. Topic of conversation: Corinne & her nanny of course. She makes her bed, cuts up her cucumbers, makes her cheese pasta, washes her clothes….how can I get a nanny??
And the rose goes to…..Danielle of course!
Next up…..Solo date with Vanessa….MY PICK!!! Opening scene: Nick channeling his inner Tom Cruise for the zero gravity date. Right off the the bat Vanessa and Nick seem extremely comfortable together. I mean there is nothing cuter than a sweet forehead kiss. This date looks like fun until….
Poor Vanessa, nothing like vomiting on a first date, although she is probably the only person I have ever seen look that good while puking! The way Nick is so sweet with her while she is miserable makes me forgive him (a little) for his “connection” with Corinne. The kissing after puking I could do without. After the failed zero gravity date it’s time for a romantic dinner on top of the tallest building in the city. Can I just say I love Vanessa’s leather jacket over a little black dress ensemble! I wish I could pull something like that off. They have a nice conversation, some more kissing, and obviously she gets the rose.
Group Date #2: Nickathlon
Rachel, Jaimi, Dominique, Alexis, Sarah, Astrid & Brittany
Time to try and be athletic! Some of them are ready for it and others clearly not (Astrid and her not so supportive sports bra.) Nick is accompanied by some former Olympians: Michelle Carter, Carl Lewis, and Allyson Felix. I always wonder what in the heck people are thinking when they agree to go on these shows but more power to them. The girls have to compete in events like the “limo” long jump and cupid javelin throw. The 3 moving on to the final round are Rachel, Astrid, & Alexis. Now it is time for the 100 meter dash to the giant engagement ring. Rachel was CLEARLY the winner but because she can’t run and grab something at the same time Astrid comes up from the rear and steals the *shattered* ring out from under Rachel’s nose. Hot tub time for Astrid & Nick, typical Bachelor cliche prize. Next up the cocktail hour where Dominique decides it is time to have a meltdown because she isn’t getting paid enough attention to. Girl slow your roll…oh wait too late time for you to go. Buh bye!
And the rose goes to…..Rachel! She may have not won the hot tub alone time but she is guaranteed one more week and, fingers crossed, another date where the hot tub one one one is the prize.
Cue Chris Harrison with a fake out…there won’t be a cocktail party tonight BUT there will be a pool party!!! Can I just say how small are these bikini bottoms?! At least half of them have to be blurred out! I think that is a requirement to be on the show, a bathing suit so small your crack is always threatening to pop out.
We haven’t seen Corinne a while so obviously something is a brewing….of course a bounce house, although I didn’t see much bouncing. I mean I get it, you are attracted to her but let’s try and have a little respect for the other women in the house. You know they were told to come outside and watch as Corinne mounts you. That is your cue to throw her off you before you lose your chance with a real woman *ahem* Vanessa. Nick finally peels Corinne off him and now it is time for the girls to bash Corinne. First up Raven where she informs Nick about Corinne’s nanny and how “she did not know how to clean a spoon.” Then Jasmine & Taylor tell him that Corinne is bad news but the best is my girl Vanessa. She pulls him aside and proceeds to say: “I’m not judging Corinne — I’m judging your actions. It was enough for me to question, like, are you looking for a wife? Are you looking for someone to f*** around with? Because at that point, I’d rather you just not give me a rose.” BOOM! You tell him girl….but please stay because you are my pick and I have to beat my husband!
That is it for this week, tune in next week to see if the producers finally let Nick send Corinne home. Til then goodnight!!
You can watch The Bachelor Monday nights at 8 pm on ABC.